The LAMDA audition is a very brief experience consisting of a monologue showing and a short informal interview – both carried out by separate panels.
This audition literally could not have gone any worse for me and I am kicking myself as I know that the performance I showed to the panel today at LAMDA really didn’t show them what I can truly do. I think the thing I am finding the most frustrating and annoying is that I spent the week prior to the audition preparing and running my pieces everyday at any and every opportunity and on all of these occasions I was able to deliver the speeches just as I wanted them and received really constructive and positive feedback from tutors and peers alike.
The main and most tragic thing that went wrong in my audition was my Shakespeare piece which was Act III Scene II from Troilus and Cressida; somehow I managed to completely freeze up and forget the words to the next section of the speech and just didn’t know how to rescue it as I had never been in that position before as I had always been so solid on the text. I had gone too far into the speech to ask to restart and so I ended up just standing there until I could figure out what I should do. I think I recall add-libbing random sentences until I could remember the next line or at least a section I could pick it up from. I recall myself just saying ‘I love you, I love you, I love you…’ over and over again until I finally was able to pick it back up again on the line ‘see, see your silence cunning in dumbness’ but I think I was still so anxious and thrown by my mistake that I was no longer fully invested in the moment and my acting and delivery of the speech was not on point – I was simply going through the motions.
Luckily, I still had my modern speech to perform to them as a way of trying to erase the awful first impression I made; I feel this went a lot better than my Shakespeare – but to be honest nothing could have gone as badly as that did! I was sure to take a long moment to refocus and clean my head before I started my monologue as I was still worked up and anxious after the shambles of a speech I presented to them moments before. In my own time I began the monologue and it seemed to go okay overall, however I didn’t feel as ‘in it’ as I sometimes do when performing it. I made eye contact with the panel when delivering the speech, as Charlotte, (like I always do) and I did notice that the panel did engage in the performance and sat back and watched the speech at times as well as writing – however, I can’t help think that this was because they had already made their mind up that I wasn’t good enough and had ruled me out after seeing my Shakespeare.
I felt quite embarrassed and stupid as I walked out of the audition room and just wanted to hide in a cupboard for days, however I still had my interview to go yet – which was taken by a separate panel, consisting of a Graduate student of LAMDA and the Administrations Manager. They asked me questions about College and the course I am currently taking there and so I explained to them about the UAL Qualification and also the ‘Season’ shows and strong work ethic that is reinforced and needed to juggle it all. One of the members of the panel also asked me about Bury Theatre Royal Youth Theatre and explained that he knew Amy Whiley (who runs spinning wheel) and asked if I knew her too. They then went on to talk about Student Loans and how they work and that I would be eligible for a full loan if I were to get on the course. The interview was very informal and held in a little room with a sofa, after the basic questions had been covered I had the opportunity to ask them any questions that I might have and although there was nothing I could immediately think of I quickly thought up something just for the sake of it and asked the graduate how he felt the divide of disciplines was and whether the split between movement and voice was good, to which he explained it was an equal three way split in order to give the actors the best training and skill for the industry!
I am not expecting to get a recall for this audition, however I am trying to give myself the benefit of the doubt that this is my first drama school audition EVER and I will have to use the experience as a learning curve which I should build upon to ensure I deliver better in my next one.